=”500″ height=”331″ />OK, I’m not really 75, but I do feel a little late to the game. I can hear it now, “Hey look everyone, another schmuck who thinks he has
the right to babble on and on and publish articles about food. Hooray!!! Lord knows there aren’t enough of those floating around the world-wide web!” And I can already feel Thread, the 22-year-old white barista at The Coffee Jolt, clad in the same oversized black American Apparel woman’s t-shirt and skinny jeans, wearing a mood necklace and sporting a knit cap hiding his unkept dreads passing judgement on what makes “grandpa” so confident that he thinks he could write a blog about food and service? Well, my little pixie androgynous macchiato, perhaps it is because I once had a dream that I made sweet love to Julia Childs in a burnt orange Le Creuset Dutch Oven while simultaneously preparing boeuf a la nicoise for Joyce DeWitt’s baby shower. Or maybe it’s because I once spent four years in a North Korean prison for serving Oolong tea to Kim Jong-il instead of Celestial Seasonings Sleepy Time Tea, like he expressly requested. (To be fair, I didn’t understand a word that fat little bastard was saying). At any rate, I have exhausted many a sleepless night, lost in thought at the idea that because I didn’t go to culinary school or receive a Swiss hospitality management degree, that I’d never be taken seriously as a blogger. Because only those that go to school and obtain degrees in such fields, are considered experts, thus rendering them infallible and brilliant. Unlike the thousands of doctors that have had malpractice suits filed against them or the hundreds of shitty films that find their way to the local cineplex each year made by graduates from acclaimed film schools, all because of a little diploma. Yet, with all these “educated” gurus out there, I realized there are just as many geniuses without formal education that received their schooling by jumping in the trenches and learning on the job. Well folks, that’s me. From Detroit to New York City, Dallas and Los Angeles, I have travelled the country and have worked countless hours in almost every facet of the restaurant business: from washing dishes, busing dishes, serving dishes, making dishes, managing dishes, running dishes, eating dishes, creating dishes, breaking dishes and everything else legal a person can do to a dish. I’ve been there and done that. So I have earned my “doctorate” in restaurant expertise and I know what works and what doesn’t. You see food is a form of art and not everyone will agree on the taste or the cuisine or even appreciate foam as a garnish but one thing most people will agree on, is good, great or shitty service. Wholly Gastromony is when you are
lucky enough to encounter the perfect union of amazing food and outstanding service while dining out. So get your appetites and wallets ready, we’re going on some dinner dates!!